Wildlife Hold Margin of Victory in Upcoming Prairie Votes

Media Release
For immediate Release

A ban on wolf and coyote culls, provincial infrastructure funding for wildlife overpasses, overnight shelters for urban wildlife, and mandatory nature education for K-12 students have become hot-button issues in two of Canada’s prairie provinces, after legislators granted wildlife over two years of age the right to vote.

The newly-enfranchised animals are having a howling good time, with elections scheduled for April 4 in Saskatchewan and April 19 in Manitoba.

Enumerators are scrambling through the farthest rural reaches of both provinces, trying to add as many eligible animals as possible to official voter lists. Wildlife are expected to hold the margin of victory in several constituencies, as long as polling stations can be made accessible for voters with four legs and no opposable thumbs.

“This is truly a great moment for the prairies, and a great moment for Canada,” said Wile E. Coyote, the provincial lobbyist who came out of nowhere to win the historic legislature votes.

“Elections don’t work so well when voters behave like sheep. But if anyone knows what to do about that kind of herd behaviour, it’s us.”

Major political parties in both provinces were rapidly pivoting their policies to reflect the expectations of a suddenly more diverse electorate.

“We’re talking about legitimate, thriving communities that have been out there in the wilderness, basically forever,” said one spokesperson. “And as for their urban cousins, it’s time we brought them in out of the cold.”

Meanwhile, provincial officials have made tentative overtures to Sierra Club Canada Foundation, exploring what could turn into a massive expansion of the organization’s Wild Child program.

This program is the kind of work we’re built to do,” said Interim Executive Director Diane Beckett. “But like the animals themselves, we can’t persist on scraps. We’re going to need real dollars and real capacity to make this succeed.”